Enter a neighborhood populated by cannibalistic racists. A place where only vampires may be able to save you. Vampires want to be loved just like the rest of us. A man has a bad reaction to an erection pill he took, and turns into a cat. In a village of androgynous people an ape is the messiah, and he forces a hungry man to eat his own body. What would drive a man to rip off his own penis? Read Walking On Razor Blades: Stories Of Death, Blood, And Sex and find out.
BATH SALTS AND BLOOD
It was Tuesday night. Traffic was light, a little too light. More like nonexistent. Clive started to worry that he and Darla were lost. Already uncomfortable about meeting Darla’s parents for the second time, Clive worried about arriving late and causing them to dislike him even more. The first time they were introduced he and Darla met them at that fancy restaurant on 52nd St. They studied him all night as if he were a talking pig and didn’t laugh at any of his attempts at humor, and gradually during the course of the meal it felt as though he were having trouble breathing, and when he was away from them at the end of the night he regained the ability to breathe. His best friend, Gary, told him not to meet them again, this was the twenty-first century, and he could marry her without their approval.
Darla was calm, unperturbed by the fact that the navigational system on Clive’s phone ceased to work, and he stared dumbly at the malfunctioning screen, and had no recourse but to shake the phone to make the app work. ‘Glad You Came’ by The Wanted came on the radio, and excitedly Darla told him to turn it up, and he pointed his phone at the radio, and raised the volume by rubbing his fingertips across the surface of his phone, and he went back to shaking his phone to make the navigational app work, and it failed to show him anything of value. The screen showed a spinning hourglass, nothing more. It was as though they entered the Bermuda triangle of the city. It was a no man’s land where one couldn’t tell where they were. No street signs. The lampposts cast no one light upon the roads. The tenements and stores shed no light on the road either, and the only light on the entire road came from the headlights of Clive’s SUV.
“I don’t know where we are,” Clive said to Darla, and frowned. “Do any of these streets look familiar to you?” Darla shrugged and sang along to the song as if dinner with her parents was anything but important, and yet Clive regarded this night as the most important night of his life in the days leading up to it, and here they were, completely lost, and growing closer and closer to being late. “They can wait,” she said, “They don’t go to bed early.” “What do they do for a living again,” Clive asked. “This and that,” she said nonchalantly. She never told him much about her parents, and he pondered quite often why there was such mystery surrounding them. The song was reaching its end, and without a care in the world she sang along until it ended.